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Quality partners who have lost each other usually feel terrible about hurting the other and saddened at their own feelings of failure. That is especially true when both partners have done all they can, aren't even sure why things went wrong, and are weary of trying.
Because there is so little support out there to comfort them, they are often reluctant to talk about what happened. Sure, there may be a contingent of difficult people who just can’t get along with others for any length of time, run when intimacy deepens, or just prefer sequential relationships for their own reasons.
For instance, a partner dedicated to his or her mission in life may seem marvelously impressive, but then disappoints that partner by too often prioritizing that commitment over the relationship.
A very attractive partner who dedicates a great deal of time maintaining that result might seem too self-interested.
For the better of three decades, the media has tackled the problem of failing relationships and how they can be saved.
When they've tried everything they can, and the relationship still doesn't work, it should not be about fault, shame, blame, or fear of trying again.The partner who has bought into believing that the other is trustworthy in those crucial areas, may be unable to accept past behaviors that challenge both that they happened at all and that they were concealed in the first place.Here are some common examples: Large debts that must be eventually paid out of mutual resources An unmentioned child Past affiliations with less-than-desirable characters who might crop up again A prior marriage An inheritable disease An intrusive and controlling parent lurking in the background Any past hidden behavior that might be unacceptable to a new partner can be a deal breaker when it is finally revealed.Unfortunately, over time, some of the distressful behaviors begin to fester and are harder for the other partner to ignore.They can be little things like leaving clothes on the floor, being chronically late, or forgetting a promise.
Some of the most common are different sexual appetites, disparate dreams, or how to deal with prior partners, but there are many others. Those differences need to be sorted out with mutual respect and support, but often bring out behaviors that neither partner could have anticipated, nor can live with.