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So our childhoods are very short, if we get them at all.7. Adult children of alcoholics overreact to changes over which they have no control.Adult children of alcoholics have difficulty with intimate relationships. Unfortunately we grow up and marry cleverly disguised versions of the people who hurt us the most growing up. – Abrupt change that we have no control of triggers the anxiety that comes with chaos.It appears that much of what is true for the children of alcoholics is also true for others and that this understanding can help reduce the isolation of countless persons who also thought they were "different" because of their life experience. Woititz ‘Adult Children of Alcoholics - The Expanded Edition’In other words, even though neither of my parents were alcoholics, I am an accepted and card-carrying member of the ACOA club.The first 13 characteristics of an ACOA you veteran ACOA folks will recognize, as they are Dr. I added 7 additional characteristics that I have observed through the years of working with hundreds of ACOA’s.
– I had a session with a guy this week that said that his rescuing seems to help him feel like a better person as a result.
While alcohol was not involved there was plenty of chaos, instability, rage, control, poverty, name-calling, abandonment, irrationality, secrets, addictions, shame and all around craziness. My status in this area is partially why I have not blogged or recorded a video about ACOA issues to this point.
Then I was very pleased when I came across the following paragraph by Dr. Woititz, the author of the book that started the ‘movement’ called ‘Adult Children of Alcoholics’…"Adult Children of Alcoholics was originally written with only children of alcoholics in mind.
I kindly told him that his rescuing makes him a crazier person who is robbing from himself to do the work of others! Many Adult Children Of Alcoholics do not allow themselves to admit that they grew up with an alcoholic.
– Many clients through the years said, “yeah, dad had a few beers every night” when the truth was that dad got stone cold drunk every night.
Not different as in I had some amazing athletic ability or that I was blessed with a brand of intelligence that made me a shoo-in for Harvard but different in that I came from an alcoholic family that most people I knew couldn't relate to.